It’s been more than a year since my last update and so much happened since then!
I wanted to write down everything, but then thought it would be boring, so I decided to thank people who influenced me during that time and before. I’m not going to write about my parents, brother, husband and kids, because it is obvious that they are the most important people in my life, whom I love very very very much!
When I was pregnant with my second child, in the middle of it actually, I had that stupid idea that I want to terminate my pregnancy. My asthma (which I forgot I had for more than 17 years) suddenly came back, and I was afraid that something was wrong with the baby. Not very good people whom I trusted at that time assured me that I had to terminate and get pregnant again later.
It is illegal in our country to make an abortion after 12 weeks (I was 20 weeks), unless there is a medical reason. But in Russia everything is possible if you know the “right” people.
So we found that woman doctor, who could do it, who actually was doing exactly that for more than 12 years of her career. She told us that it was her call, but of course majority she was doing really for a medical reason.
Meeting her was the most surreal thing that happened in my life.
My husband and I went to the most far and poor side of Moscow to one of the oldest hospital. It was summer and the weather was beautiful. And I felt beautiful, I usually are when pregnant, most people get fat, but I get thin, (actually I was thiner on my last week than I am now : )
It was strange place - absolutely deserted. There were several buildings and a nice park, but there was no one walking around. Eventually we found the right building. Usually it is very hard to get inside of the hospital, but the only one guard downstairs was more than happy to let us in, which was also very strange.
Inside was as empty as outside, no doctors, no patients, nobody.
She was waiting for us in the big room, there were several working places, but she was alone. I went to many doctors before and most of them didn’t want to terminate not because it was dangerous and they were worrying about my or my baby’s well being, but because it was illegal and they were afraid to loose their jobs. She was the only one who gave us the reason for her medical opinion. She persuaded us to keep the baby, actually she could make quite a lot of money in case we go and do it, but she helped us. She made a thorough explanation of the whole procedure, how hard it would be, and in my case (because of the asthma) it could have been fatal not only to my baby. She reassured me that the baby was fine, despite my asthma and the medicine I had to take for it.
I felt so peaceful after that visit, I made up my mind eventually and I calmed down inside. Actually my asthma disappeared after that just as suddenly as it came.
When we came out of the room there was one very old lady in the hall (and still no one else), she smiled at me as if she knew what I was thinking about.
I saw that doctor only once in my life, but I would never forget her and never be able to thank her enough. When I gave birth to my son, I wanted to let her know that everything was fine and the baby was fine, but I didn’t want to disturb her so I had send her a massage. I hope she’s got it.
P. S. Pregnancy is one of the most fascinating things happening to a woman. There is someone else living in your body; sharing your blood, which carry his or her thoughts to your brain; and in a mean time from two cells creature becomes a human being, going through all evolution process only in nine month. From that point of view, the little craziness of a pregnant women is quite explicable :)